Stupid Nutjob

So, some of you must have noticed my absence over the past couple of weeks...if anyone actually reads this thing...shutup, you'll scare off the one fan I actually have...So, Nutjob found some work, and he's been busy twenty-four seven, I don't think he spent more than 20 minutes online in the last two weeks, which obviously means I haven't had a chance to steal his brain for a minute or two to make a post. Personally I think he's doing just to keep me from posting...because, as we all know, it is all about me.
Anyway, apparently Take Your Imaginary Friend to Work Day was a huge success...huge being a relative term...
Michael, from Florida, wrote this
Dear Crugg,

I took my imaginary girlfriend, Edna, to work with me today and it was great. The guys all loved her and thought that we made a great couple, and one of the office secretaries offered to teach her how to cook. Thanks Crugg for this idea.

Michael

Well Michael, your welcome, I'm glad your co-workers liked your imaginary girlfriend and I so happy to see that you open to inter-reality relationships.

John, from California, wrote
Dear Crugg,

I so understand your position now, I took my imaginary friend to work and all of my co-workers loved him, they thought he was hilarious and encouraged him to apply for a job at the plant. But when I introduced him to my boss the jerk went postal on me, he fired me just for bringing Bob to work with me. I'm pretty sure I can get my job back, but it really changed my view on your position. I thought you nfips or noips or whatever were just overreacting, but now I see that you really are discriminated against. I'm all for you guys getting fair treatment.

John

John, I'm sorry to hear about your job and I hope you can get it back. It was unfair of your boss to do that, but that is the kind of treatment that we NFIPs encounter everyday. I'm glad you see that now.

Anyway, that's all for today, remember, fair treatment for Non-Fictional Imaginary Persons is a fight that we can only win together.

Take Your Imaginary Friend To Work Day

As advertised today is Take Your Imaginary Friend To Work Day. I hope all of you took your imaginary friends with you to school or work and introduced them around. Being a non-fictional imaginary character myself I have a great many imaginary friends, I took some of them with me on my rampaging and introduced them to my victims...well...the victims that survived anyway. I want to encourage everyone to write in and tell me how your day with your imaginary friend went...you can write to nutjob's email at noothergods32@aol.com, being imaginary I'm not allowed to have my own email address. This is only one of the great number of injustices that I am fighting to correct with this campaign to get equal rights for non-fictional imaginary characters. I'll try to post again, later this week (if nutjob lets me get online that is, he's on this whole 'no Crugg, you can't do that' kick, he would even let me sacrifice the virgins I went to all the trouble of capturing in order to make Take Your Imaginary Friend To Work Day a success.) Anyway, I want to hear all about your days at work and school with your imaginary friends.

My Place

HA, I have overcome the oppressive nutjob and conquered his mind, it is now my home. He will serve me well, or I will skin him alive like the Assyrians used to do...man do I love those Assyrians, they had some AWESOME ideas. Now, back to rights for non-fictional, imaginary characters, I plan to use nutjobs somewhat poorly maintained body to campaign for the fair and ethical treatment of non-fictional, imaginary characters. It is time that we got some rights! Seriously!!
So, next Monday will be take your imaginary friend to work with you day. The goal of this is to introduce the world to the many non-fictional, imaginary characters that are out there and encourage their fair and ethical treatment. We're out there people, and its time to listen. So all of you who have imaginary friends, and I know your out there, take your friend with you to school or work, introduce him to your real friends and encourage them to interact with him in a positive way.
In this way we hope to show the world that we are out there and we deserve to be treated right. You know you want to do it, so just do it, help the noips people, help the noips.

FREEDOM

I ESCAPED!! Let none disparage the phenomenal escape ability of the one and only Crugg. The stupid, wanna-be Jap, crazy nutjob couldn't hold me, I burned his guards with blazing fire from my nose and then I sneezed on the cage bars and they exploded. Now he can't even find me, and watching him look is hilarious. Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm free and...no don't touch that Gethrugb, yes ok, I'll let you say something next time...anyway, I'm free and I'm not going back into nutbob's pits of despair.

A Singular Look Into A Life In The Day Of A Non-Fictional Imaginary Character

6:00 Am: I woke up...I needed to use the bathroom, then I went back to bed.
6:30 Am: I woke up again, my crazy headmate's alarm clock went off...I really hate that guy, you have no idea how much!!
6:45 Am: My headmate went to take a shower, so I went to the magical kingdom of OZ, I had a very nice talk with the new Wicked Witch of the West, killed the Wizard, and dropped huge fireballs on the Emerald City...that was fun.
7:30 Am: I went back home to see what the nutjob was doing, he went to work...yup the shlub has to work for a living.
7:45 Am: I got bored, so I went back to my world, which is much more fun than nutjob's head...and not nearly as scary.
7:50 Am: My mountain was attacked by an army from...well...I'm not really sure where they were from. I sneezed...all of their horses turned into giant cockroaches and ate them...that was funny.
8:15 Am: I killed one of the cockroaches and had roasted leg of roach for breakfast.
8:30 Am: I wandered around...no that's it, just wandered around.
9:00 Am: I went back to nutjob's world to see if he was doing anything interesting...he was telling a bunch of kids to do some...paper thing...what'd he call it...work...whatever it was boring.
9:05 Am: I left nutjob with the kids and the boring work paper thing and went to visit my girlfriend, Gethrugb...ya...if you're not spitting then your not saying it right.
9:15 Am: I took off...trust me, ten minutes of Gethrugb and you've gotta get out...why am I dating this girl again...
9:45 Am: I went back home and summoned up Gilly to find out who attacked me...Gilly's a coward.
10:30 Am: I got some stuff together, the fun kinda stuff, and grabbed Olef to go have some fun.
12:00 Pm: Olef and I met a trader on the road to...um...to the fun...I slipped a man eating gnarlseed into his cart...wish I could have seen that come out.
1:45 Pm: Olef and I made it to the fun...which in this case was a village from the kingdom that sent an army after me...Blisstonia...let me know if you find a cornier name. I turned their water into broccoli juice, I withered their crops, and I made all of the vermin (rats, bugs, spiders, ect.) quadruple in size and vicious...and I gave all of their livestock boils and their children leprosy. That'll teach'em to send an army after me.
2:15 Pm: I sent Olef back home and went back to...the real world...to see what Nutjob was doing, he was still doing something boring with a bunch of kids. I tried to convince him to play a fun little prank and put superglue in all of their seats...he wouldn't do it. Guy makes me up to have fun, but does he ever take any of my advice...NO...hence, Nutjob.
2:30 Pm: I went back to see what Olef was doing...he was still walking...I was made for fun...I need fun...walking is not fun...unless there's something fun at the end of the walking, which there isn't.
2:45 Pm: I went back to pester Nutjob more, but the kids were gone...no fun there.
2:50 Pm: Olef was still walking...yup...still walking
3:30 Pm: Olef and I stopped for a late lunch...Olef packed some of...something that tasted really good...I don't know what...Olef is a really good cook.
4:00 Pm: A giant dinosaur came out of the..."Crugg don't write that" (That was Olef)..."Don't write that either, I don't wanna be-Crugg stop writing-seriously-Fine, there was no dinosaur, Crugg's just bored. Happy now, happy that you-fine I'm not talking anymore."...hehehehe...that was funny.
4:45 Pm: Olef and I ran into Egruld, he's from the Lesser Association of Necromantic Spellcasters...yes there is a Greater Association of Necromantic Spellcasters...don't ask...it was possibly the dumbest reason to for a split in all of history...seriously...like toe warts have any prophetic significance, to anyone.
5:30 Pm: Olef and I made it home, most of the giant cockroaches were gone...and most of the soldiers were eaten. It wasn't pretty.
5:45 Pm: The mess outside was pretty ugly so I decided to move. I pushed the button...no THE BUTTON...and we were in the Grimwold Forest...I love my house.
6:30 Pm: We had roast bear for dinner...hehe...I roasted the bear...with my nose...hehehe...really...
7:30 Pm: I went to see what Nutjob was doing, he was watching some dumb show about a bunch of people going through some gate...I thought it was stupid...but I stuck around and watched anyway.
8:30 Pm: I went back home and went down to the casting chamber to blow some stuff up.
10:00 Pm: Ok...so I blew up a lot of stuff...then I went to bed, I need sleep, even if Nutjob doesn't.