Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Against the Blatant Existencism Commonly Perpetrated Towards Non-Fictional Imaginary Persons

I am Crugg. I am NOT a fictional character, I just don't happen to live in a world that actually exists in, you know, reality. This does NOT mean that I am any less of a person than anyone else out there. I get this attitude all the time, every time I go out to eat I have to wait forever and listen to hosts and servers say things like, "Don't worry, he's not real." or "Oh, he's fictional, we don't need to deal with him."
Well just because I'm not real doesn't mean I'm not HUNGRY!!! Imaginary people eat too, if you smell us do we not stink, if you prick us do we not bleed!! Ok, ok, so I'm quoting Shakespeare and probably doing it badly too, but it gets the point across. The fact that we're not real doesn't mean that we're not real, does it?
Well, I suppose it probably does, but it doesn't mean we're not important.
So, this is me; yes I'm a goblin, yes I'm under five feet tall and look like a giant walking bruise, yes I live in a fairy tail world where nothing is really real.
I am demanding equal rights for all Non-Fictional Imaginary Persons and I'm starting this blog to do it, and to um...talk...and maybe like advertise stuff, if I feel like it. But the main reason is definitely to get equal rights for us NFIP's...
Is anyone actually going to read this?...I wonder, I mean seriously, I go to all the trouble of starting a blog...I bet you no one ever even sees this thing, this was all your stupid idea!


  1. Crugg, is there a difference between a "fairy tail" world and a Fairy Tale world? Inquiring minds want to know! Just what is the difference?

  2. Well, a Fairy Tale world is an imaginary world that has gained slightly more reality through exposure. This is a similar process to that undergone by Fiction Imaginary Characters, or FIPs. For example, the world of Middle Earth would be a Fiary Tale world while the world inside nutjobs brain would be a "fairy tale" world because...well...no one really knows anything about it...and because nutjobs a nutjob.

  3. Hummm, somehow, I just thought you would say something like "FLEAS!". Of course, than, I never new fairy's had tails. Wings, yeah, that I could see, but, come on, Tails??!!

  4. No, I assure you that there is a very reasonable explanation for these things...
    And a lot of fairies actually do have tails...and not wings...the tails are fun to pull. But no fleas...they don't like the taste for some reason...now we goblins...we get fleas out the wazoo.