Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Singular Look Into A Life In The Day Of A Non-Fictional Imaginary Character

6:00 Am: I woke up...I needed to use the bathroom, then I went back to bed.
6:30 Am: I woke up again, my crazy headmate's alarm clock went off...I really hate that guy, you have no idea how much!!
6:45 Am: My headmate went to take a shower, so I went to the magical kingdom of OZ, I had a very nice talk with the new Wicked Witch of the West, killed the Wizard, and dropped huge fireballs on the Emerald City...that was fun.
7:30 Am: I went back home to see what the nutjob was doing, he went to work...yup the shlub has to work for a living.
7:45 Am: I got bored, so I went back to my world, which is much more fun than nutjob's head...and not nearly as scary.
7:50 Am: My mountain was attacked by an army from...well...I'm not really sure where they were from. I sneezed...all of their horses turned into giant cockroaches and ate them...that was funny.
8:15 Am: I killed one of the cockroaches and had roasted leg of roach for breakfast.
8:30 Am: I wandered around...no that's it, just wandered around.
9:00 Am: I went back to nutjob's world to see if he was doing anything interesting...he was telling a bunch of kids to do some...paper thing...what'd he call it...work...whatever it was boring.
9:05 Am: I left nutjob with the kids and the boring work paper thing and went to visit my girlfriend, Gethrugb...ya...if you're not spitting then your not saying it right.
9:15 Am: I took off...trust me, ten minutes of Gethrugb and you've gotta get out...why am I dating this girl again...
9:45 Am: I went back home and summoned up Gilly to find out who attacked me...Gilly's a coward.
10:30 Am: I got some stuff together, the fun kinda stuff, and grabbed Olef to go have some fun.
12:00 Pm: Olef and I met a trader on the road to...um...to the fun...I slipped a man eating gnarlseed into his cart...wish I could have seen that come out.
1:45 Pm: Olef and I made it to the fun...which in this case was a village from the kingdom that sent an army after me...Blisstonia...let me know if you find a cornier name. I turned their water into broccoli juice, I withered their crops, and I made all of the vermin (rats, bugs, spiders, ect.) quadruple in size and vicious...and I gave all of their livestock boils and their children leprosy. That'll teach'em to send an army after me.
2:15 Pm: I sent Olef back home and went back to...the real world...to see what Nutjob was doing, he was still doing something boring with a bunch of kids. I tried to convince him to play a fun little prank and put superglue in all of their seats...he wouldn't do it. Guy makes me up to have fun, but does he ever take any of my advice...NO...hence, Nutjob.
2:30 Pm: I went back to see what Olef was doing...he was still walking...I was made for fun...I need fun...walking is not fun...unless there's something fun at the end of the walking, which there isn't.
2:45 Pm: I went back to pester Nutjob more, but the kids were gone...no fun there.
2:50 Pm: Olef was still walking...yup...still walking
3:30 Pm: Olef and I stopped for a late lunch...Olef packed some of...something that tasted really good...I don't know what...Olef is a really good cook.
4:00 Pm: A giant dinosaur came out of the..."Crugg don't write that" (That was Olef)..."Don't write that either, I don't wanna be-Crugg stop writing-seriously-Fine, there was no dinosaur, Crugg's just bored. Happy now, happy that you-fine I'm not talking anymore."...hehehehe...that was funny.
4:45 Pm: Olef and I ran into Egruld, he's from the Lesser Association of Necromantic Spellcasters...yes there is a Greater Association of Necromantic Spellcasters...don't ask...it was possibly the dumbest reason to for a split in all of history...seriously...like toe warts have any prophetic significance, to anyone.
5:30 Pm: Olef and I made it home, most of the giant cockroaches were gone...and most of the soldiers were eaten. It wasn't pretty.
5:45 Pm: The mess outside was pretty ugly so I decided to move. I pushed the button...no THE BUTTON...and we were in the Grimwold Forest...I love my house.
6:30 Pm: We had roast bear for dinner...hehe...I roasted the bear...with my nose...hehehe...really...
7:30 Pm: I went to see what Nutjob was doing, he was watching some dumb show about a bunch of people going through some gate...I thought it was stupid...but I stuck around and watched anyway.
8:30 Pm: I went back home and went down to the casting chamber to blow some stuff up.
10:00 Pm: Ok...so I blew up a lot of stuff...then I went to bed, I need sleep, even if Nutjob doesn't.

1 comment:

  1. have a nice day, merry christmas & happy new year.
    OB9000

    ReplyDelete